Matthew 5:38-42 (KJV)
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
Putting others first:
Putting others first is not popular in our world today. The other way is the way of the world -- me, myself and I -- know yourself, be yourself, express yourself, respect yourself, be honest with yourself, and stand up for yourself. We value independence, not sharing -- we have our own phones, cars, TVs, etc. We have the fastest internet service, online shopping, chatting and mews. Our default setting seems to be "self first".
Unselfish Ruth:
Ruth loved and provided for her mother-in-law and at the same time provided for her own needs. Even though she was a stranger in Israel and probably unwanted by many, she worked to provide for Naomi and in so doing provided for her future. Ruth could have married a young man and made a living for her self, but she selflessly proposed marriage to Boaz and herself (Ruth 3:10)
Discerning the right to rights:
We often muddy the waters on topics of surrendering rights because we see through tunnel vision at times. Jesus said we are deny our self and follow Him (Lu 9:23), and also to turn the other cheek, give to those who would borrow, etc. But, Jesus also commended the woman who pressed through the crowd to touch Him to be healed (Lu 8:48), and the woman who persisted in asking Him to heal her daughter (Mk 7:30).
Others passages teach us to put others ahead of our self (Rom 12:10; Phil 2:3). Some feel that there is contradiction in these type passages -- either we love our self or we love others. But, Jesus put the two together in His instructions (Matt 22:39).
Claiming rights:
Some times Christians feel like they are to give up all rights and are confused about their daily walk as Christians. The Bible assumes that we all have certain rights and commands regarding them apply to us and others (Ex 20:15; 22:1ff; 23:1-3). Paul mentioned certain rights of Apostles (1 Cor 9:4-7).
Some worry that claiming our rights puts us on God's black list. Tamar claimed her rights and end up in Christ's genealogy. God is a God of justice for us as well as for others. He desires that we uphold the rights of the weak and those unable to do so (Prov 31:8-9).
Giving up rights:
In addition to having rights, we also have the right to give up our rights (Matt 5:38=39). Jesus gives us instruction on rebuilding relationships by giving up our right to retaliation and even in the process of reconciliation, we retain our right for something to be done -- restore a relationship. Even God retains His right for something to be done. He required atonement and reparation for our sin and He provided it in His Son and his death upon the cross. When Jesus said we must deny our self in order to be His disciple, He was saying to giver up all rights to taking care of our self. Part of His teaching in being His disciple and being great in the kingdom was to be a servant ( Mk 10:44-45), but in order to serve others we must be able to do so. If by denying our self, we become physically, emotionally and spiritually unable to serve others, we fail. By taking care of our own personal needs, we can then minister to others. (for example the oxygen masks on a plane -- put your on Philippians 4:10-12 (KJV)
10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity.
11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.